Självkänsla, då och nu
4kommentarer
Det här med självkänsla är någonting som jag alltid har haft lite svårt med. Har inte alltid tyck om mig själv och än idag, fast att jag har kommit så sjukt långt, kan jag pika mig sjäv för att jag inte är en spinkis.
Allt har blivit så sjukt mycket bättre sen jag slitade skolan! Nu slipper jag bry mig i hur 500 personer tycker jag ser ut. Slipper gå runt i korridorerna och känna mig uttittad av alla bimbosar (som säkert inte ens la märke till mig) som har märkeskläder och har mycket classigare stil än vad jag har. Jag trivdes aldrig på Hagagymnasiet och jag trivdes inte speciellt bra i klassen alls, var väl inte utfryst men kände inte att folk brydde sig i mig. Var väl Nattis som fick mig att ändå trivas okey i skolan. ♥
Jag mår mycket bättre psykiskt nu, troligtvis för jag inte jämför mig med alla andra som jag tvingas se varje dag. Nu har jag bara mig själv, Martin och mina nära och kära. Folk som tycket om mig för den jag är, folk som jag inte behöver göra mig snygg inför för att passa in hos.
Hur långt har jag kommit då?
Min självkänsla går i vågor, vissa dagar kan jag tycka att jag är extremt ful men dessa dagar blir färre! Jag tycker allt mer att jag är fin. I vintras kunde jag gräva ner mig i sängen och gråtit för jag tyckt jag vart så ful. Och för 2-4 år sen var kompexen min vardag. Det var det ända jag tänkte på, (därav mitt UF-företag där jag föreläste om min bulimi (Klicka här för mer info))
I Dagens läge har jag börjat tänka att jag har fina kurvor istället för att tänka att jag är tjock. När jag känner komplex för mina lår så försöker jag tänka "Men gud vilken tur att jag har starka och friska ben och höfter, det kommer vara bra när jag ska föda barn" (Tack Hanna för du fick mig att inse att man kan vända på de och tänka positivt) Jag har kommit så långt så att jag kan skämta lite om mitt utseende (på ett positivt sätt, inte nerlåtande) kan visa min kropp utan att skämmas. Att Martin är så kär i mig höjer mig ju auomatiskt 10 000m upp i luften då jag omöjligt skulle få en så fin pojke om jag själv hade varit ful!
Det går uppåt och jag planerar att aldrig stanna, ska fortsätta sträva uppåt!
4 kommentarer
Randyempiz
05 Apr 2023 21:23
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